Currently Listening Begin to Hope By Regina Spektor see related

I guess there's a time in every college students career when they begin to wonder where they'll be after college.  I guess in the back of my mind I assume that I'll do something with my art degree, then I remind myself that I don't know what to do with my art degree.  I could always go back to the nursing home if art doesn't work out.  You know, if someone threatens me at gunpoint.  Though even then I think I would have to weigh my options.  I was talking to a man at lunch today from Whitcliff.  I'm not at all thinking of going to Whittcliff, but it sticks out in my mind that at one point I was hoping to do something with art and missions.  But there's something that doesn't appeal to me at all about doing that.  I don't want to be a cheesey Christian artist and I don't really want to teach.  Oh, but I was speaking yesterday with my advisor Larry when our oilpainting class when on a field trip and he said that before he was a professor at Taylor he delivered pizzas!  He had an MFA and was delivering pizza!  Prior to that he taught part time at Ball State but then they didn't need him to teach any more so his classes stopped.  That's when he got the job delivering pizza.  He said one of the most humbling experiences he had was when he was when he delivered pizza to a former student of his.  He said that it was around that time that he realized that there was no shame in his job, but that it was an honest job and provided him with money that he needed at the time.  I immediately thought of an experience I had that was kind of like that the summer before I started at Taylor.  I was working at the Nursing Home doing laundry and housekeeping.  I would wash down urine covered walls (because some of the men had lost the ability to aim), I collected laundry and for hours would wash soiled clothes and poopy pads.  It really sucked.  I was near tears my first night, but as I was walking back to my home directly after work it suddenly struck me that it was a needed job, that I was needed to help keep the place running.  When they didn't have clean pads and sheets and clothes the system would fall apart and the people living there would suffer.  Instead of just being discusted at that point I decided to think of it more as something that was required of me to care about what I was doing and who I was doing it for.  After all, at some point, my mind and body may fail me too and I hope that at that time I'll have someone who doesn't mind taking care of me and not treat me with less dignity simply because of their pride.  All in all, I guess it doesn't matter if I become an artist or go into missions over seas, but I hope that in some way I can always find value in serving people.

Currently Listening Guero By Beck see related

So there's been some interesting things happening in regards to my art classes.  For the past couple weeks for my three demensional design class we've been putting matchsticks together to form a three foot scultpture that could balance an egg on top.  The Professor's pretty cool.  He's young and hip and still has that "art can change the world" type of freshness to him.  His name is Matt.  Well, everyone was pretty eager to do the assignment, but unfortunatly near the end of the assignment it wasn't as fun to be working with matchsticks and glue.  At least not for me.  I was working with hot glue and an exacto knife to cut aways excess glue resulting in many minor burns and cuts on my finger tips.  Well, I don't have a picture of the actual sculpture that I did but this was my inspiration:

Immediately when I heard the assignment I thought, "spiraling!"  I thought it would be really cool to see an object spiral up three feet, especially out of matchsticks.  When I was done with the spiraling effect I was then faced with the challenge of ballancing an egg on the top.  So I decided to make a dome so that the egg could rest on the tip.  It worked.  The structure was sound and the egg was able to sit with no problem.  So come the day of the critique I felt like I was pretty prepared and when Matt asked who wanted to go first I said I would go so that I could be done and not have to worry about it while doing other people's critiques.  Well, I said what my inspiration was and what my challenges were with the project.  After that Matt asked what the class thought.  Nick Kesler is in my class and he was the first person to say anything and he said, "It looks like a phallus."  Simple as that.  I think my mouth dropped open and that my face turned a tomato red, but I can't be sure because I suddenly realized with everyone else in the class that it did look like a phallus symbol.  Then Nick said, "It's very sexual.  Mainly because of the egg resting on the top."  I died a little.  Well, Matt looked at it nodding along with the rest of the class.  Please understand that I understand that this is a very common occurence in art and architecture, but because it was the intended subject matter of my project I was slightly embarressed and taken off gaurd by the sexual symbolism of the piece.  Matt said something to the effect of accepting it for what it looks like and that being art majors we should be able to accept seeing this kind of sybolism etc. etc.  So I removed my project to make way for the next person's critique.  Well, during this critique Beth Eisinger (who also happens to be in my class leans over to me and whispers, "Heather, I was just wondering what part of your personality was coming out through this project and what Freud would have to say."  I laughed out loud and she did too.  Matt then says, "What's so funny?"  thereby interrupting the critique.  Beth looked at me and then says, "Oh, I was just wondering what part of Heather's personality was coming out through her project."  This time everyone in the class laughed with me and I think my face went to a deep maroon.  At least it felt that way.  ACK!  I think it's all hillarious, but at the same time quite a bit embarressing.  This has led to a nice array of inappropriate jokes among me and my girl friends.  To my further embaressment though, even some of my guy friends! 

I mention this because our next project, if we want to, is to burn our projects and video tape it in an artistic way working with sound and visual effects to bring across some meaning.  Or something like that.  Rebekah Lay is positive that I'm a man hater (and proud of me for it) because it's been the plan from the beginning for me to burn it.  I don't quite agree with her, but it's interesting that I would be thinking a lot on feminism about the same time that this whole thing with my project happened.  So I'm thinking about how I can do it to make the tension for me noticable with my feminist but yet conservative ideals that have been going through my head lately.  Read the previous entry to get an idea about my feminist thoughts as of late. 

I hope you're all doing well!  Again, I miss you graduates!

Currently Listening All Hands on the Bad One By Sleater-Kinney see related

So, I've been thinking lately a bit on stuff.  One is on feminism.  I think it's a good thing.  Not to say that I'm an extreme feminatzi or anything, but that in general men and women are equal despite the obvious differences.  Sure there are things that men can do that women can't and vise versa but does that make one higher than the other?  I think it's clearly stated in Genisis that Eve, as Adams helper, was someone that was equal with him.  Especially that they were one with one another.  I don't think that is only something that implies something sexual but that it also states that their status with each other was something perfect and equal.  It's only when they disobey God that suddenly women have a different status or what I'm wondering is a different idea.  When is says that womans desire will be for her husband perhaps it doesn't simply mean that man will rule over her in the sense that she is less than him but that perhaps her idea for man has changed.  In observing women, and being one, I see that there is definitely a desire for marraige and companionship.  I don't think that it's too far off to assume that most women today believe that to be filled and to live a good life that you should have a boyfriend or man in your life.  Self worth is so often based on whether or not she has a boyfriend or serious relationship that will lead to marraige, the ultimate place of happiness that is so often showed in movies, books, etc.  Seriously, how many "chick flicks" end with a kiss or a wedding? 

I believe that it's normal for a single person in today's society to feel unfulfilled and very lonely.  I also believe that a major part of that is separation from God, but in the case of women (and with some men) perhaps part of it is the curse that we will always desire men.  That doesn't make it right just because it is something "normal", but lately I've been thinking more on the fact that, "It IS good for women to be single!"  It is very good to be married too, but so many sociological problems seem to come from dehumanizing women, not to say that marriage is dehumanizing for women but that the push for marriage and the idea of self worth coming through marriage is.  In my environmental science class over the summer I was reading that culturally one major reason that developing countries don't develope is because of the lack of rights for women.  Seriously, that's half of a society that isn't working to provide for the family and also leads to lower economic status because half of the country is uneducated and not working beyond the home to help build the economy.  Statistics have shown that women who are married and stay at home moms have more children then women who work.  This is bad because it's developing countries that have over population problems. 

For who knows how long this world has been dominated by men and in some cultures still is.  What I'm thinking is that even if something stands a certain way for thousands of years doesn't make it right.  If men and woman were equal prior to the fall (this is depending on your own perspective) then perhaps men ruling over and being set higher than women is not only wrong but sinful.  Therefore the goal should not be for woman to gain a man but self respect and self reliance (and reliance on God) before looking for a companion.  But I would also say that the glorifying of men is sinful also, just as anything else before God.  So it seems that women is glorifying men and men are allowing (and in some cases even demaning) themselves to be glorified by women. 

Obviously as imperfect people we are to strive for perfection even though we can't reach that standard, so therefore I'm beginning to believe that feminism should be pushed by women and men.  All it can really bring as a whole is something good.  I'm not going to get into the abuses of power, I just believe that woman shouldn't be surpressed for simply being a woman.  To take a good look at culture, even in U.S. culture, and say that there isn't a problem with gender roles would mean that you are either conditioned to believe so or that you're completely blind.  Or a misogynist jerk.  I believe that it was originally intended that there not be a rift between men and women.  It makes me angry when I see depressed women only thinking they are happy when they are with a man and then being mistreated (I mean this in an extreme sense).  When I think about these people it makes me want to be single forever because I don't want to try to find happiness through being with a man.  Seriously there's too much expectation in trying to find happiness in someone who is also imperfect.  He will ultimately let you down and it's not all his fault.  This makes me believe that I really need to build up my relationship with God, because I can't be single and happy on my own.  I guess one thing that men and women are equal with is their same spiritual need for God and his unending love and grace for us. 

Currently Listening Ballad of Ric Menck By Ric Menck Big Blue Buzz see related

Well, I don't have anything to do for the next 30 to 40 minutes... I'm working in the political science department.  I made a couple of copies.  Then the mail came and Prof. Loy said he was going to put it away.  One less thing to do I guess.  Except I don't have anything to do now...  I'm just tired and hoping that I don't fall asleep on the desk.  Talk about a low maintenance department! 

I just realized that I had weird dreams last night.  Really weird.  What's even weirder is that I can't remember what it was that I dreamed about.  Just that it was weird.  Every time I think about it I get this weird chill type feeling.  Hmmm... 

My very first class today, and of the sememster, was printmaking at 8 A.M.  ........  I liked the class but I don't like that it's at 8 A.M.  I also don't like that the two hours I could spend sleeping in the mornings on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday are going to be spent in this office where I have nothing to entertain myself.  Just wait until the homework rolls in I guess.  Hehe, I wonder what the guys here would think if I brought in my woodcutting homework.  I think I will.  I'll spice up the department a little bit.  A bit of Heather flare!!! 

Speaking of Heather flare, Megan and I have discovered that both of our flares mesh very well together!  Our room is very retro.  I like it a lot.  Maybe I'll post pictures for all you out there that aren't at Taylor anymore.  P.S.  You're missed!!!!!!

So I totally just figured out what I would do if I had as much money as I wanted to dispense of.  Feast your eyes on this website!!!

http://www.arizonaskiesmeteorites.com/

It would be awesome!  They're selling a whole Wooly Mammoth skeleton!!!  And for the low low price of $300,000.00!!!  Shoot, some rich people collect art, I would collect huge bones and meteorites!  People would come over and I would say, "Can I show you my wooly mammoth?" or "Please come and see my extensive collection of martian meteorites." and "Oh that?  That's just my Dromaeosaur Rapter Ulna."  Oh, taking the geology class this summer has opened my eyes to so many possibilities.  It rocks.  Get it?  Rocks?  He he... he...  that joke is a little overused.